What Does This Mean
by amyl0awrence
Summary: Louis' job was supposed to be easy. It was a only teaching a class of eight year olds, how could it be hard? It wasn't, until a disheveled child stumbled into his class one day; bringing Harry Styles into Louis' life, no matter the consequences. Larry AU
1. Chapter 1

Louis' job was supposed to be simple. It was a simple gig teaching a class of eight year olds, how could it be hard? Well, it wasn't hard, until a dishevelled child roamed into his class late on his first day teaching. Jake Styles was his name, and for some reason Louis found the boy to be extremely interesting. Although Louis didn't recognize him, or have any reason that he should know him, he felt a bond to the child like non he'd felt before. When it hits him why this young curly haired student means so much to him, Louis cannot help but become a part of his life, and everything that comes with it, no matter what the consequences are.

"Shit," thought Louis as he bounded up the deserted corridors in search of classroom, for which he was currently late. His feet padded against the floor, as he felt his heart begin beating in his chest. The sound of pen meeting paper could he heard from the classrooms on either side of him, as he skidded around the corner, and began his climb up the stairs, just hoping he wouldn't be too late. Today, he couldn't be late. It wasn't in the cards, nor was it part of the plan. Today required precision, and accuracy, and especially required him being there.

His carry bag was hastily flung over his shoulder in the mad rush from the car, and his jumper was still in the grip of his hands, having had no time to dress himself in it between this morning, when he had failed to wake from his alarm and right now.

Naturally, he began looking at the numbers spread across the middle of each door, hoping to find what he was looking for. As the numbers began increasing, instead of decreasing, Louis came to the realization he'd already passed his mark, and returned back down the hallway, taking extra time to examine each number carefully, and before long, his eyes set hold on the number he'd been waiting for, _room 37. _

It wasn't surprising that he'd missed it really, it was set out of the way, down a small corridor that was surrounded by open lockers, more of a cubby really, and overly large pot plants. From his place outside the door, he could make out the sounds of children's clatter and commotion, and suddenly he was afraid. What if this wasn't the job for him, and he was a complete failure. After all, he was only twenty. What did a twenty year old know about taking care of a bunch of eight year olds?

Before his brain had too long to digest his fear, Louis reached his hand out and turned the door knob, and his feet began walking cautiously into the room, trying not to draw attention to himself. No wait, what was he thinking, of course he had to bring attention to himself, he was the teacher. Unlike his previous time's arriving late into a classroom, Louis didn't need to quietly slip into the room unnoticed and pretend as if he'd been there all along, instead he could be as carefree as he wished, drawing in the attention of everyone who surrounded him, after all, they were his students.

A couple of metres into the room, the class fell silent before him, and he was met with the gaze of twenty odd children starring at him, waiting for him to speak. His throat clenched tight, but he refused to show fear, not now, like this. Sitting himself down on a chair in the corner by the whiteboard he presumed was the teaching board, he looked around the class, taking in the sight of the attentive students. Never, in his fifteen or so years of attending and being part of a school had Louis known anyone to be this... quiet.

After clearing his throat, he began to speak breathy to the class, realizing that he was still partly out of breath from his dash through the school.

"Good morning," he smiled brightly, glad that no one seemed to be aware of the fake smile spread across his cheeks, "I'm Mr Tomlinson, and I'm your new, er, teacher."

Addressing himself as a teacher, let alone Mr. Tomlinson was strange, and still sounded foreign in his mouth.

"Good morning Mr. Tomlinson," his class sung back.

That was new, people paying him such attention and respect. Louis couldn't tell if he felt more nervous by this, or if it put him somewhat at ease, but he decided that it was the latter.

"Well sorry I'm late," he answered, a bit more positive with his tone of voice this time. He considered telling them why he was late, but presumed that informing a class of eight year olds of the night he'd spent out at the bar was not a good thing to do as an educator, let alone an adult.

"However, I'm here now, and I'm sorry I kept you guys waiting." Looking around the room, there was not one face he recognized, not that he'd expected too. None of the friends his age had children, let alone eight year olds, and he didn't really have many older friends, except for his mother's group of girlfriends who he saw occasionally when he visited home for the weekend.

"So, I'll do attendance, and if you hear your name, let me know," he laughed a little on the inside, realizing how improper he'd sounded. He should have said something along the lines of 'say yes' or 'present' rather than his foolish suggestion to say 'let me know.'

Luckily the class hadn't seemed to notice anything peculiar, and he realized he was probably over analysing everything, again. The list drowned on, and as he tried to remember name to face, he only found himself getting muddled and finding all the kids faces blurring together into one.

One name on the list however, caught the young teacher's attention, and he found himself pause for a moment before calling out.

"Er, Jake Styles?" This received puzzled looks from the students seated at the tables in front of him, and then continued on to quiet chatter of the students discussing something between them.

"Who's Jake?" one of the students who Louis recognized slightly as the boy who had answered to Max.

Then the response, "never heard of him, must be new," came from a girl across from Max, who Louis didn't remember the name of.

Louis didn't stop their talk, instead he sat looking at the attendance form blankly, racking his brain for a reasonable answer to why this particular name stood out so bold to him, instead of blending in with all the others, but nothing came. No memory, no recognition, nothing. He was lost.

Before Louis had snapped himself out of his thought, it was the crowd of kids in front of him calling his attention back to them.

"Mr. Tomlinson? Hello? Mr. Tomlinson?" a couple of girls from the back table asked with confused and puzzled voices. Louis sat up straighter, readjusting his posture, before marking Jake's name with an A for absent, and continuing down the list without a second thought on the matter.

By the time recess had come around, and the students were sent out on their half hour break, Louis felt much more at ease standing up in front of a class, speaking his mind out. In fact, he found some pleasure in it; he would even go as far to say he was enjoying himself. As well as the glee that was beginning to build inside of him, he was almost certain that the students in the class were enjoying themself just as much as him. Some laughed at his jokes, whilst others listened thoughtfully to his questions, and even went as far to talk to him, and try and get to know him. It made Louis a lot more comfortable knowing that they were not hating on him, like he'd originally thought they would, and he was even more surprised that he didn't hate them.

He fell back into his chair, completely exhausted by the efforts he'd already put into the job, and he'd been here a total of two hours. No, he'd actually been here a lot less since of his twenty minute late arrival.

Picking up the pile of exercise books from his desk, he took the liberty of reading what a few people had to show their morning's efforts. Like you would expect from such young students, it was a lot of colour, and a handful of misspelled words, but if anything this only made Louis' job easier, as he had finished placing ticks and stickers on each page by the time the physically worn out kids returned from their reckless recess activities.

Calling out name by name, Louis began to hand work books back to the kids, waiting for them to come up to the front to collect it as he still hadn't quite wrapped his head around all of their names, getting confused by the numerous Emma's and similar looking blonde haired girls. Although not in uniform, everyone was dressed strangely similar, and proper.

Just as the final student returned to their seat, and Louis opened his mouth to begin the next hour or so of teaching before they were called for their lunch break, the door opened wide to reveal a dishevelled looking boy. His hair was messy, but Louis couldn't tell if it was in fact messy, or if his curls just gave the illusion of chaos. His face was red, and his eyes were glazed over in clear liquid, showing that he'd recently been crying. The boy was familiar, but not enough so that Louis knew his name, or who exactly he was. He was just recognizable.

"Hello?" Louis asked distantly, not wanting to frighten the boy anymore than his terrified state already held him, "are you supposed to be here?"

The boy looked warily around the room, before walking over to Louis and beckoning for him to lean down, which he gladly did.

As the boy still didn't speak, even with Louis' body lowered to his height, Louis had no clue what to do. Wishing there was another parent or guardian here with the seemingly lost child, he smiled at the young boy, lifting a curl from his eyes and watching as a tear threatened to fall down the reddened cheek.

"Class," Louis called out, grabbing the attention of the room almost immediately, "I'm just going to step outside for a moment, be good alright? Or else."

It was an empty threat, and he wasn't sure if the class knew it or not, but the chatter that erupted through the room again gave Louis' figured it was time he lead the young, curly haired boy from the room and start asking him some questions.

Barely a moment had passed since Louis' shut the door behind him, and the boy was already burst into tears, sinking into the ground head in hands.

Not once had Louis' laid eyes on such a heart wrenching scene, and he couldn't help but lean down next to the boy and lift him into his arms, comforting him as best he knew.

"Shhh," he spoke softly into his ear, wrapping his grasp around the boy tighter "it'll be alright..."

It was strange, Louis thought, that he was so completely comfortable treating one of his students like this, almost as if they were family. He held him close, but didn't get the feeling that he was being unprofessional. Instead, he felt as if he were the one meant to be here, holding the boy.

When the silent tears had ceased, and Louis sat up straighter, letting the younger boy adjust himself, he knew he had to ask.

"What's your name?" he asked gently, not wanting to set the boy off again.

"Jake," he answered in a weak tone, "Jake Styles."

Jake Styles... the name rung through Louis' head, as he felt the same feeling flow through him that he had this morning, confusion. He knew this boy from somewhere, yet he didn't. Obviously the boy hadn't recognized him, otherwise he wouldn't have told his name, for Louis' would have already known it.

"Well Luke, you're meant to be in my class, aren't you buddy?" he smiled reassuringly, standing upright, and reaching to open the door.

"You ready to go in, or want to wait a minute?" he asked, trying to make the moment as right as he could for Jake, not wanting to pry on what was wrong, but still extremely curious on what had brought on the waterworks, and why his name seemed so familiar.

"I'm alright now, thanks," Jake mumbled into his sleeve, as he whipped his eyes. "Sorr-"

"It's alright," Louis' cut him off almost instantly, not wanting the boy to blame himself for the thing that was bothering him, even if Louis' had no idea what it was, "let's just go yeah?"

And with that, he opened the door, and Louis directed Jake to his seat, continuing on with the class as if nothing had happened, but still racking his brain for answers.

When the bell signalled end of day, it took only minutes for the class to empty, and Louis' was left with a bunch of empty seats, messy desktops and his thoughts. He still couldn't figure out where he'd known, or recognized Luke for, if anywhere, and he couldn't seem to let the thought escape his mind.

Not wanting to stay at school after hours longer than necessary, Louis was quick to shove his paperwork into his bag and head out the school grounds not long after the students. The halls had fallen once again completely empty as he made his way down them, remembering the path to his room so tomorrow morning he wouldn't get as lost.

It was when he reached the main exit, and he heart the faint cries of a blubbering boy on the opposite side to him that Louis' throat tensed up. Knowing what to expect, he leaned into the heavy door to press it open with his hip, only to see the curly haired boy with his head in hands once again.

"Jake..." Louis' almost whispered, as he watched the boys head shoot up, almost looking painful.

After a moment of silence, Louis sat down next to him, and performed the simple, comforting gesture of wrapping his arm around Luke, and let him collapse into his chest, tears falling over his cheeks.

They stayed like this, unmoving, for what seemed like forever, and Louis couldn't help but feel pain for the boy. Although he was still unsure of what was wrong, he could tell he was heartbroken nevertheless, and he couldn't do anything more than hold him close.

Silence was broken by the footsteps coming up the path ahead of them. Jake's head shot up, and before long he was up on his feet, racing for the person who Louis' still couldn't quite make out. Louis reached down next to him, and felt for Jake's backpack, walking it over to where two people now stood in a close embrace.

Hovering for a moment, before dropping the bag by their feet, Louis' began to walk off, rather confused, still unsure on what had just happened.

"Wait," he heard an older voice call out behind him, and he instantly knew it wasn't Jake.

He turned, to take in the appearance of the young man who stood in front of him, and he couldn't help it as his eyes lingered on his lips for a moment too long. He watched the boys lips as they dropped open, a shocked expression falling over his face.

"What is there something in my?" Louis' chuckled, almost slightly nervously, unsure on why the young man was starring at.

He was met with no reply, just a puzzled look forming across the other man's face. Moments passed, and when the elder of the two curly haired boys spoke, it shocked Louis.

"You don't remember, of course," the man almost laughed, rubbing his hand over the back of his neck, getting ready to turn and walk away.

That's when it hit Louis. How he'd recognized Jake's name, and then Jake himself in class today. Suddenly he remembered why he'd been so tired that he'd felt the need to sleep through his alarm on his first day of work, and he most importantly, he remembered the reason that the man standing ahead of him was giving him such a look of bewilderment and hurt. It all came rushing back, and Louis' practically found himself at loss for words.

"Harry..."


	2. Chapter 2

"_Harry..."_

Louis' brain suddenly crashed. This wasn't meant to be happening, not now, not ever. The sight of the older boy sent goose bumps down Louis' spine, and suddenly he felt the over whelming sensation to sit down and wrap his head around everything.

If only there was nothing to wrap his head around, then he could be long gone, away from this school, and everything today had brought with it. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case, and he would have to speak sometime soon.

At loss for words, it felt right to look up, and see how Harry was reacting to this, seeing him again.

Harry's eyes were full of disappointment. Instantly, Louis knew that it wasn't a good sign, and he lifted his hands to his face, rubbing his eyes for a moment, as if it weren't real, and with one rub the two people ahead of him would be gone. Knowing that someone was feeling so hurt because him, didn't help Louis' figure out what to do, so when he removed his hands from his eyes and Harry was still standing there, a frown creeping over his face by the second, Louis couldn't help but give an apologetic look.

"Bound to fucking happen huh?" Harry said, with a flat tone showing no emotion in his voice, but his eyes gave him away. "I don't know why I expected more..."

Louis felt his chest clench up, and his palms begin to sweat as he knew he'd made a huge mistake. He could feel his feet aching underneath him to get up and walk away, just run towards his car and leave the awkward predicament he was in. That wouldn't be fair on Harry though, so he stood there and took in a steady breath, preparing himself to speak.

"W-what do you mean?" he chocked, his glance going from Harry towards the eight year old who had sat himself down on the ground with his backpack, starring at his shoes, and back to Harry. If this was a family, they were broken.

"What the fuck do you think I mean?" Harry shouted back, force reaching through his voice with such force that Louis' felt himself literally step back a bit, and look of gloom appear over his face.

The tension remained, as well as the silence and it was minutes before either spoke. Louis' mind was searching for an appropriate response, something that would make him sound like less of the fool he was. He'd mucked up, and he knew it. He shouldn't have not remembered Harry, and he was completely out of reasons on how he could have forgotten him.

Sure, alcohol was involved and that must have been playing a severe part in his moment of memory loss and confusion, but now that images from the previous night started flashing back through his head, he found it almost impossible that he'd been able to forget.

It'd been special, meeting Harry down at the bar. Harry, was a broken teenager, and Louis' was a nervous wreck about the job he was beginning the next day, and they'd both found comfort in each other, but not the way you'd expect. Hours were spent sitting at the bar stool, discussing life, and getting to know each other whilst the bottle of beers kept flowing through their insides, helping them find the comfort to spill their deepest secrets to the stranger who they'd just met.

Louis remembered feeling the happiest he'd been in so long, but in a way that was questionable. It wasn't the usual sense of happiness; in fact it was more comfort than anything. They'd shared secrets about their past, and prospects for their future together, and although Louis' had only known Harry a few hours when he left the bar, he'd known that he'd been one of the truest friends he'd ever had.

But you didn't kiss your friends.

The footsteps of the two boys walking down the path leaving school snapped Louis' from his thoughts, and it took him a moment to realize he must have been day dreaming for quite some time for the curly haired duo to leave him there.

"Wait," he shouted, recollecting himself and running off down the path towards them, coming to a halt just ahead of them. "Please, just wait," he practically begged, holding his arm out to signal for them to stop.

Jake peaked out through his head of curls that covered his eyes, as Harry continued to stare off into the distance, as he had been for the last couple of minutes.

"Please..." Louis' asked again, with a desperate tone underlining his voice, afraid that they'd walk off, and leave him standing here alone again, unable to move, "just talk..."

Harry's face suddenly tensed up, and Louis' instantly knew that he shouldn't have asked him to talk. It wasn't fair on him, and he'd known it. So, as Harry went to open his mouth to retaliate to the young teachers naive comment, Louis' could only hold his palm over his mouth, and recorrect himself.

"No, no, don't listen to that sorry. Here, I'll speak," he said, unsure on where it was going, but saying something rather than nothing was always a good sign. Since Harry's facial expression softened under his hand, Louis' stood back again, frantically trying to find something to stay to keep the teenager from walking away.

"I'm sorry..." he mumbled, knowing it sounded petty, but maybe it was what he needed to hear. Maybe Louis had to say it, and things would be better. No, that wasn't going to happen, but he could feel the raw emotion showing through him and hoped Harry caught onto just how bad he felt for what was going on.

"I can't do this now," Harry sighed, quickly grabbing Jake's hand and hurriedly walked down to the front gate with him, leaving Louis' behind just as confused as before.

Louis walked into the flat, slamming the door shut behind him, walking straight to the couch and collapsing into it, finding it calming in a way.

"Good day?" asked an overly cheerful voice walking into the room from behind him, sarcasm dripping obviously through his lips.

As his flatmate came and sat on top of his legs, Louis didn't even retaliate, he didn't even flinch, which gave his roommate a reason to worry.

"Something's obviously wrong then," he sighed, trying to pry as much information from the tired, weary looking man as possible.

"You have no idea Li..." Louis groaned, throwing his face into his hands, and clasping them tight, trying to block out the world so he could forget everything. Go back a day and have none of this happen.

Liam sat up straight at his friend's actions, instantly concerned for his welfare. It wasn't often Louis dealt with drama, let alone flaunts his pain to the world, so either Louis' had completely given up hope, or he was in desperate need for consultation. Liam hoped for the latter.

"Spill," he said, rubbing his hand down Louis' thigh soothingly, as he felt the hurting man relax under his touch. This brought some ease to Liam, as Louis' was always better at explaining things when he was awake, and not under immense amount of pressure or stress.

"I wouldn't even know where to begin," Louis answered sadly, his emotions about the current situation showing for the first time since the incident at the school, and quite frankly, he wasn't sure if he could hold everything in without seeming like a complete fool.

Liam couldn't laugh at his best friend, instead he only sighed, squeezing his leg a bit harder consolingly.

"The beginning?" Liam questioned, knowing it was an obvious answer, but it seemed to get the bowl moving, and Louis began to spill his heart out of Liam. Shockingly, Louis didn't hold back anything about the previous night, and went right into the details.

Some of the night was still a blur however, like some of the topics they'd discussed, but all Louis knew for sure, was the fact that they'd shared a bond so close, that it had at the time felt like nothing could replace it.

Harry was unsure about his sexuality, it was obvious from the start, and although Louis had come to terms with the fact that he was gay a long time ago, he didn't expect anyone else to have, especially since Harry was only just eighteen. So knowing that Harry quite probably didn't think of Louis as an attractive person, or as a potential someone he could date, Louis didn't bother to flirt with him, instead he just made a friend out of him.

As the night went on some obviously flirtation between the two became apparent, even if it hadn't been intentional, since it was the alcohol speaking, at least at first. Louis began feeling something in the pit of his stomach that was different than he'd ever felt before. Whenever he caught Harry's eyes lingering on him for a moment too long, his stomach flipped, and he wasn't sure why. No, of course he did, he was falling for Harry. A guy who he'd just met, and was unquestionably not going to stand a chance with.

He'd given up hope early on, but as the beers kept rolling, and the two boys became more and more rowdy, the atmosphere between them began to change. The music was blaring and they were dancing in the middle of the dance floor, not seriously, just mucking around grinding up against each other in their drunken state. People were starring, Louis could feel their eyes burning into the back of his head, but he didn't take notice, instead he just pressed himself further into Harry and continued drinking from his stubby in his hand.

After hours of talking together, bearing their hearts for each other, it was four in the morning, and Louis knew it was time to call it a night, especially since he was meant to be beginning his new job in the morning.

Louis said goodbye, and began to turn and walk off, when he felt Harry's hand tug him back, and his lips embrace his in a soft, delicate moment. Louis felt his heart jump, and his stomach was doing summersaults. It wasn't unusual for him to kiss a guy, but something about Harry was different from anything he'd felt before, and he was enjoying himself too consider it a drunken mistake.

But as quick as it came, it was gone, and Harry was waving goodbye, stumbling up the path, out of sight.

The next days passed as Louis had presumed they would, waking up at a reasonable hour, going to school, teaching, coming home and sleeping. He couldn't bring himself to leave the house, let alone attempt to make fix of the situation with Harry. He'd truly felt something wonderful between them, but after seeing the look of hurt plastered across Harry's face when he'd seen him at the school, he couldn't bare face him. Ideas ran around his head of what he would say if he actually saw Harry, but none of them sounded right, and they made him see like more of an idiot.

It wasn't possible to see Harry anyways, as him and Jake hadn't made another appearance at the school since his first day. Having no contact details to see them, Louis found himself realizing that even if he wanted to fix things, he didn't stand a chance. The friendship that could have been something between the two was nothing, and Louis found himself heartbroken over something that never was anything.

"Alright everyone, free time until lunch alright?" Louis said with a chipper tone through his voice, trying to hide the fact that he couldn't be bothered teaching them right this second, and giving them time to relax and muck around would be the easiest.

"Can we play with the board games Mr. Tomlinson?" a brunette headed girl asked from the front table, clearly excited to go and spend her time with the scrabble board again. She was a bright student, probably the brightest in the class, and of course Louis wasn't going to prevent her from broadening her education.

"Of course, I'm just going outside to get a coffee," he let the class know, "so I'll be back in about five or so."

He left the room exhausted, basically unable to keep his eyes open. It was Friday, his fifth day working here and it was quite possibly the most tiring week he'd ever endured. With not only the constant feeling of knowing you're in charge of a class of eight year olds and are responsible for every action they take part in, but he still had the constant strain of what had happened with harry wrapped around his mind, and more importantly Jake. Why hadn't Jake returned to school after Monday? You'd think, he would come back, but he hadn't, and this confused Louis more than anything.

His train of thought was interrupted as he collided with someone passing him in the corridor. He'd had his head down, focusing his eyes onto the pattered floor, not paying attention to his surroundings as most people would be in their classrooms, so the shock of running into someone startled him and he jumped a bit.

"Mr. Tomlinson," an older looking man spoke, who Louis recognized as the assistant principle, who he'd briefly met on his first day here, "I was just coming to look for you."

"You were?" Louis asked a bit shocked, unsure on why he was needed. He hadn't done anything wrong had he? Was he in trouble? No, it was different when you were a teacher. You didn't get sent to the principal's office like you were a bad person, you were spoken to by the board if you were going to lose your job, and that comforted Louis a bit.

"We've got someone here to see you, regarding a Jake Styles?"

Louis' head shot up more prominent, and as he looked further down the hall towards the hall, and saw none other than Harry sitting in the chair waiting outside, playing with his fingers, he felt his chest pound, and heart race.

He was beckoned to follow him down the hallway, and without a doubt he followed, completely unsure of what to expect.


End file.
